I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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