So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
