Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
