Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity

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(917): View more from New York City

It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.

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(310): View more from California

Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

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(614): View more from Ohio

she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.

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(509): View more from Washington

I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.

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(541): View more from Oregon

eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!

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