Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My pussy is not your playground.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
