Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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