I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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