I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize