I molested 6 butterflies tonight
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
