so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My ass is underappreciated
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
