office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
