Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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