i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
