I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
