You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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