Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
