can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
