I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
