I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
