I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
True college students do jello shots in the library
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
