So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
