thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
