i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
