I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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