were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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