the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
