i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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