This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize