This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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