the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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