I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
