i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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