Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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