a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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