can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
