i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
