i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
splinters make it hard to masturbate
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
