Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
