If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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