Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
