apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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