I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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