at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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