I can text with my tongue
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
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