they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
