The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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