..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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