Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I need moral support for this bender
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
