Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
