I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize