Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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