Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
