call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize