Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
