I think i peed on brittanys purse
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
