Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
