Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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