i don't like sucking hair
it was like eating out sand paper
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
