making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
