Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
