Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
