Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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