you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize