i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
