Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
3 2 1 whiskey
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
