I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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