Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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