I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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