Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize