I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize