So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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