i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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