He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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