ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
